I’m going to keep any and all thoughts I may have about Wrestlemania XXVIII short, as we’re taping the third episode of Three Count Passion this weekend and will be going over Mania with a fine toothed comb. In the meantime, a short comment about complaints about professional wrestling.
What fascinates me about wrestling fans is the myriad of contradictions that our opinions tend to propagate. The whole thing brings to mind Episode 4F12 of The Simpsons, “The Itchy & Scratchy & Poochie Show”. In the pertinent scene, a television executive asks a focus group comprised of most of the children of Springfield (the ones with names, anyhow) how they might make Itchy and Scratchy a more palatable show:
Okay, how many of you kids would like Itchy & Scratchy to deal with real-life problems, like the ones you face every day? (the kids all cheer and agree) And who would like to see them do just the opposite - getting into far-out situations involving robots and magic powers? (more cheering) So, you want a realistic, down-to-earth show… that’s completely off-the-wall and swarming with magic robots? (The kids agree)
After reading the instant feedback from Twitter in response to the short-lived World Heavyweight Championship match, I couldn’t help thanking whatever deity I pray to that WWE doesn’t book their shows by consulting focus groups, or by reading through Twitter, because frankly, as viewers, we don’t know what the hell we want.
Last night was the opening salvo in a storyline between Bryan and Sheamus that wouldn’t work nearly as well if Bryan had lost cleanly in a 10 Minute Match. This match didn’t bury Daniel Bryan, it helped him; in fact if it did anything sinister at all, it didn’t immediately elevate Sheamus the way I thought (and hoped) it would.
We’ll see at least one more rematch now, because Bryan will blame AJ for making him lose his World Heavyweight Championship. Bryan will play the dastardly villain, and he’ll get his comeuppance for treating AJ like shit when he most deserves it.
But of course, the short match means that Daniel Bryan is buried, and WWE sucks at everything. Because, when it comes to wrestling fans, we want a logical, well written story with strong motivations and good pay-offs…but we’ll raise hell if we ever see one of our favourites look less than stellar.